Have you ever had the yucky experience of engaging with someone in a way that left you feeling taken advantage of?
Examples can range from the harmless to the extreme, but we all know that 'feeling used' is pretty awful.
If we take a moment to probe deeper, it may be because when G-d created each of us, it was with choice, love and intention. Meaning, each individual has automatic intrinsic value and a unique purpose. IOW: If you are here, then YOU matter.
There are things in this world that are a means to an end, and that do not carry the same unconditional value as each individual person does. For example: alarm clocks are here to wake us up, cars are here to drive us where we need to go and jobs are here for us to earn a livelihood and support ourselves and our loved ones. If there was an alternate way to wake up, get ourselves where we need to go or earn a living, we would easily ditch the alarm clock, car and job.
You however are not a means to an end. You are the end. If you exist, that is G-d saying “you are the most important thing to me, you are indispensable”.
This intrinsic value can be compared to the automatic and unconditional love a parent feels the moment their child is born. The child does not need to perform or produce anything unique to win the parent’s love. Our sages teach us, that the parental love is only an attempt at a metaphor for the great unconditional love G-d feels towards each individual.
This may be why being taken advantage of feels horrible, because it denies our intrinsic unconditional, G-d given value.
When we cultivate this attitude towards ourselves and others, many of life’s challenges are healed. When we stop judging ourselves and others based on performance alone, zooming into the absolute core value at each individual, we experience the transformative power of unconditional love.