This weekend we enter the final month of the Jewish year, the month of Elul. One month before Rosh Hashanah, now is a great time for some honest reflection, a “soul inventory” of the past year.
Among other things, we look at how our relationships have fared, both with G-d and with one another, and consider how we can strengthen them in the year ahead.
Let’s start with relationships in our lives. In a healthy marriage, each spouse is committed to the other, not only when it’s convenient or when the request makes perfect sense, but always. What happens when our partner asks for something that we don’t fully understand? Of course we do it, but the real question is: how do we do it with joy, instead of begrudgingly?
The answer lies in shifting our focus. Instead of fixating on what is being asked, we focus on Who is asking. When love is at the center, the “what” becomes secondary, the act itself is cherished because it deepens the bond with the one we love.
This is exactly how our relationship with G-d works. Some mitzvot may resonate with us more while others less so, but when we remember Who is asking, every mitzvah becomes an opportunity to connect with our Creator. What greater privilege and purpose could there be in life than for little me to do something for G-d Himself?
This theme is actually embedded in the Shema that we recite daily. In the first paragraph, we focus on our relationship with G-d. Only afterward, in the second paragraph, do we embrace the specific mitzvot He asks of us. First comes the Who, then the “what” is so much easier.
Even the very name of this month carries the message: Elul is an acronym for Ani Ledodi V’dodi Li - “I am for my Beloved, and my Beloved is for me.” This month invites us to think deeply about the Who, so that when the High Holidays arrive, we can show up fully, with excitement and with love.